Author: davamon

Again, or still, I’m observing the worry and fear in the world these days. People are just worried; worried about maybe getting sick? Is their family maybe getting sick? What to do to not get sick? What about my work? The future. And regardless of what side of the fence you’re on, what will happen to the world after the election? And some people are more than worried, they are full-on afraid. So there’s also a lot of fear around.  People aren’t going out due to the fear of whatever, or lots of things.  

Isn’t worry and fear kind of the same thing?  Pretty much, but I find that worry is more mental and fear is more emotional, involuntary. They are pretty close, so let’s use this as a working definition. BTW – my intention here is not to minimize what people are going through. Not at all. As folks are in it, it is real and I get that. I support you in any way I can. Here, I’m just presenting it through another lens, in hopes that it alleviates some of the discomfort some might be feeling.  

With that definition in mind, worry, being mental, is something we can control. I love the quote that says  ‘Worry is a prayer for something we don’t want.’  The idea is that focusing on something brings it to form. In quantum physics, there’s something called the observer effect which explains that events happen or are changed just by being observed. Watching it. Expecting a certain result. Did that make sense? Listen to it this way. Science is proving that by putting our attention on something, we have can have something to do with either allowing it to happen or actually creating it. Meaning, we are at cause. Think about that for a second….. We create. We are creators. Or co-creators, if that feels better to you. 

With worry, we are actually suffering something that hasn’t even happened yet. It may never happen. Based on what we learned about the observer effect, worry could bring this event into play. If we stop worrying about it, we reduce the probability of it happening.  In addition, the act of worry puts a dark cloud over our present moment.

Look at us!  We have power more than we know…. But what is important here is knowing that the power we have access to is within us and we can use that to create our experience. You’ve heard this before, probably from me, but here you go again. Pay attention to what you are paying attention to. Or more simply, notice what you’re noticing. If you find yourself overly concerned with something that you really don’t have any control over, let it go. It’s as simple as that. Not easy, of course, habits are hard to break, but simple, and it just takes practice. Awareness and practice. 

And here’s something else we can do. Talk to someone about it. Anyone. I’ve been hearing a lot lately about how our connections with others alleviate stress, creates inner peace. There is now data that strongly correlates longer life with solid, satisfying, social connections. Sharing our thoughts, having someone hear us, takes the ‘scare’ away, and sometimes just hearing ourselves speak, saying them out loud, puts the fear in its place, which is usually somewhere else, leaving us to breathe a little easier. 

Be the creator, bring into your life what you do want.

Just sayin’

“Human beings suffer their own memory and imagination, that is they suffer that which does not exist”. -Sadhguru

 

I finished leading my first webinar on Tuesday, It was called “4½ Blocks (between where you are and where you want to be)”.  We had fun, we all learned alot and the people that attended said they got a lot of value from it. I’ll probably do something like that again.

I tried to watch the debate. Man! Discuss amongst yourselves.

It’s been fun to get out and play live music again, with folks, for folks. People really enjoy this, and I feel that sharing it is truly what it’s all about. I know some of you think the hokey pokey is what it’s all about, but community is what it’s really about. Live music supports and promotes that.

Here in Southern California, we’re in the midst of a mini heatwave.  People are walking around saying, “Hot enough for ya?” what does that even mean?

Fall is here, football has started and we also have playoff baseball. There’s something in that air that gives us a feeling of normality. That’s a good thing, right? Is that a judgment? See last week’s Thursday Thoughts.

Now I can see the desktop, Let’s see what’s in the drawers.

Chaos! Everywhere. Why is that? I believe there is a purpose. Everything has a purpose. Do I know what the purpose is? Nope. It is bigger and more varied & vast than I could ever imagine. They say that from chaos comes order. I suppose that when I’m not here anymore, and I look back, it might make sense. (now there’s a hint of an idea for a future conversation)

What I do know is that the path I am on, the path you are on, the path they are on, is the right and perfect path for each of us at this time. Whatever is happening in the world is just simply what is happening, and quite honestly, there’s not a whole lot we can do about it.

There are some people who are called, driven or pulled to a bigger role. It’s up to them to step up and do what they can to make a difference. Is that you? If it is, get on that bus, take that ride and go for it. Wholeheartedly, and unabashedly. Make a splash. You are completely and totally supported! I’ve got friends like this and we need them. There’s goodness there.

Most people aren’t like that. Most people are content to work, play, eat, love, grow old, and die peacefully. And that’s also just fine. Those folks are necessary cogs in the machinery of the universe and there’s goodness here, too.  We each do what we need to do, what we can do, and we do the best we can.

Being authentically you, living your life simply and with love, compassion and meaning is very much a part of the big plan.   All parts contribute inextricably to the whole. Keep smiling, stay peaceful, help others, keep your energy and vibration high, and believe it or not, everything will work out. You know why?  Because it always does.

Just sayin’.

There’s a lot of stuff going on this year. We’ve been dealing with COVID for 6 months and change and really, how close are we to the end of this? If that’s not enough, let’s spice it up with some fires over here, a dash of flooding over there, and just for fun, top it all off with an election that promises to be pretty ugly. And these are just the headlines. Are we having fun yet?

In the midst of all the outer insanity, what are you doing to take care of your inner self? During these types of adventures, many folks reach out, and as the caring people that you all are, make yourselves available, to make sure your family and friends are taken care of. But what are you doing for you? You can’t pour from an empty cup. Or, my favorite example is how the airlines always tell us to put the mask on ourselves first. I guess we’re not much good to anyone else if we’re not breathing.

Many of you have been engaging in some form of self-care, be it meditation, yoga, something. There are many ways to practice. How long have you been practicing? Well, it’s time to get into the game. For instance, if you’ve been practicing to find peace, now is the time to be The Peace. This is on my mind as I am participating in one of the many celebrations of the International Day of Peace on Monday the 21st. A day for the world to focus on Peace in all it’s many forms. 

Peace isn’t something we create, peace is something we fall into, open up to, allow in. We can’t make peace, peace is. 

Some time ago I saw a demonstration using a muddy glass of water that clearly illustrates how meditation clears the mind. As the glass sits still, the mud settles to the bottom, leaving the bulk of the water clear. 

See, our normal state of mind is muddy. We’re full of thoughts, we’re caught up in our normal fast-paced life, and our reactions and emotions are all over the place due to all the news and information coming at us from all directions. Our mind is stirred up, muddy. But when we let the mind rest…. The mud settles. 

                                   Muddy Water                                  Clear Water

 

 

Make sense? When we are calm, peaceful, and clear in this present moment, we are able to be at our best for whatever and whoever comes across our path. Being this vibration of peace is a good and powerful thing for all. Our vibration spreads like ripples on a pond. It washes over us like a cool breeze on a warm day. That’s a beautiful thing for the world right now. It’s a great example of the Butterfly Effect. You’re familiar with that? The butterfly flaps it’s wings in Japan, the wind blows in California.  Each one of us has the power to positively affect everything that goes on around us, and more, just by taking care of ourselves, flapping our wings, and being that peaceful energy. 

                            Ready?

                                                Breathe!  

                                                                        Peace! 

                                                            Just sayin’

What is your definition of success?  

There’s a story that’s been around for a while but I heard it from a guy named Bruce D Schneider, so I’m giving him props. Its a baseball analogy, and it illustrates my point perfectly.

Imagine that you are at the plate looking to hit a line drive to left field. After taking a couple of pitches, and fouling a few off, you get a pitch you like and hit a screaming line drive into left field. Success, right? Now, at the same time tho, the left fielder is paying attention, he takes a quick step as soon as you make contact, runs hard, dives like Superman, and catches the ball. Are you still successful?

We can’t control the outcome,  We can only control what we can control. 

I was working on this webinar – you may have heard of it? Something to do with blocks? 4½ of them – Being held the next 3 Tuesdays?  — and I was talking with folks about some of the concepts. One person totally got the point. The feedback I received was that my concept was well explained and made perfect sense. 

I told someone else, and they didn’t even seem to understand what I was saying.  The point here is that I said the same thing in the same way and 2 people heard it completely differently. What can I do about that? Well, I’ve heard there are methods of teaching using different algorithms to get the message across to different learning styles, but my point is – ALL WE CAN DO IS THE BEST WE CAN DO. We can not guarantee the outcome. We do the best we can to deliver the message. We cannot control how the message is received. 

How does that apply to you? Be clear, be focused on what you’re doing. Make sure you’re walking the path of your design. And be ready for whatever happens.  How do you do that? Take your swings. Learn your craft. Do your scales. Plant your seeds. Then, knowing you’ve done all you can, release attachment to the outcome. Doesn’t matter, you’ve put your best foot forward. What will be will be. Que sera, sera!  Release    attachment    to    the    outcome. 

If you are speaking, be as clear as you can, but know that people will hear what you say through their filters. In your business, if you plant enough seeds, rain will wash some away, the birds will eat some, but the crops will grow. Using that baseball analogy, you did what you set out to do, which is put good wood on the ball and hit a solid line drive. That’s what you can control. Do enough of that and many of your batted balls will find plenty of grass. 

One more point. Apply this concept to your life. Think about what you’re trying to accomplish. I’m going to stick with the baseball analogy. What you wanted to do was hit the ball hard. You did that. And if what you find yourself noticing that you’re not ‘hitting the ball hard’?  What do you say to yourself? Instead of saying “I’ve been in a slump for the last week and don’t know why.” Which is being at the effect of the event, or what we call victim mode, try turning that into, “I have been swinging at bad pitches for the last week and I need to correct that.” which puts you at cause, or in the driver’s seat. 

Consciously focus on what you can control. And accept whatever happens, but know that you’ve already succeeded.      You are already a success.    Just sayin’

I got a message from an old friend last week, Shout out to Judy. She said “Is what I call “lack of motivation” possibly caused by what you are calling a block?” Judy, you nailed it! See, she already knew the answer to the question. 

That’s a great example of what I call ‘inner wisdom’. It was just because we had a conversation, that she started ‘noticing what she’s noticing, that it floated to the top. That’s the kind of awareness we have access to, but we just don‘t know it. 

We’ve been talking about blocks these last few weeks. Well, I have.  It has caused some good discussion with some of you around these blocks and I noticed that more information, deeper information is being asked for. 

So, I am hosting a 4-week webinar starting tomorrow, Tuesday, the 8th, and it addresses the 4 main blocks that get in the way of us achieving what it is that we set out to accomplish. See how nice that works out?

Each week, we will focus on a different block, how to identify them, and we’ll learn ways to minimize them, move them out of the way, and as we work to get ourselves out of our own ways we’ll find ourselves living a life more in line with the life we envision. 

Personally, I’ve noticed that in doing this work, and even in sharing it with you, I’ve broken down a couple of my blocks and am moving closer to the life I envision for myself. 

Go to coachdave4you.com/blocks, get a little more information and sign up if it speaks to you. We’ll start to clear that path together. 

Just Sayin’

I’ve been thinking about blocks. What are blocks? Blocks are used to build things. Blocks are for walking your dog around. And blocks are what we call thought patterns that get in your way. There are outer blocks and inner blocks. The blocks I’m referring to are the kinds of blocks we unknowingly build inside ourselves over a lifetime or two, or three.  And they come back to bite us at the most inopportune times. 
We spend our lives doing things, wanting to do things, and not doing things. Why do we sometimes not do things we want to do? Well isn’t there a question.

I’ll share a story. This one’s for you, Diane. Many years ago, my buddy Steve and I, hey Steve, wrote a song about Martin Luther King. It’s a nice little tune if I do say so myself.  The company I was working for at the time was really big into diversity, and I don’t even remember how it happened, but one thing led to another and they paid for me to record it. We went in the studio, bolstered by an inner-city middle school choir we found to sing on it. The energy in the room with these kids was electric. It was truly an amazing experience for all involved. The recording came out great and all of a sudden these big ideas started flowing.  My sister -the marketing master- got involved, shout out to Jerri. We were talking about creating videos, writing curriculum, and sending these VHS tapes out to all the schools in the country. Somebody knew someone who might be able to get the kids from the Cosby show involved to promote it, it was exciting, it was crazy. We looked at this and played with that, talked about the other thing, and when we added it all up, it was going to cost about $750,000. Bam! You can just imagine what kind of wall that was! I did note that we were about $750,000 short of that number, and being kind of young, truly inexperienced and fairly clueless, the project just kind of rolled off the desk and under the bed. And that was that. What happened? Why didn’t we do it? I don’t know. We just didn’t.

I’m sure at the time I had all the excuses, or rather the reasons, but the answer is, I just didn’t. I probably felt overwhelmed. Who wouldn’t?  Also, I really didn’t know how to do something like that. Why didn’t I ask someone? Dunno. What was in the way? 

Knowing what I know now, I would call it a block. Something unknown to me at the time was blocking me from moving forward. Generally it’s a fear of something, and more often than not, fear of failure is the big one that keeps most projects from even getting started. Some experience fear of the unknown. And some, believe it or not, are afraid -nervous, reluctant- of success! They think, quietly to themselves, “What would life be like if I actually did get -or do- what I want? Then what”?

We are just more comfortable being where we are, -the devil we know- which, as I’ve said before, isn’t necessarily bad. And it’s easy, cuz we’re already here. But, We’re just not letting our light shine. We’re not being the best version of us we can be.  

Can you think of a time when perhaps you shrunk a bit, for whatever unknown unnamed reasons? How did you feel about it? How do you feel about it now? Are there things still blocking you from your visions? 

We’re going to talk a little more about this in the next few weeks. I’m hosting a webinar next month to address some of these and I’m curious about your thoughts and what you feel might want to be addressed.  For now, just notice where you stop yourselves. No need to do anything more than that, just notice and write it down. I’m truly interested in what you’re experiencing, so please reach out. It could be an interesting, mildly disturbing and enlightening week. But, you know what? You Got This!  

 Just sayin’

How’s it going? I’m just checking in. We seem to be doing the COVID dance again. How’s that treating you? Are you a little nervous? A little scared perhaps? Just put off? maybe it’s not affecting you at all? I was running errands last night and there was a baseball game on the radio. After all the bickering that’s been happening, whether or not you agree with the business, it’s nice to feel a moment of what used to be normal.

A lot of vacations aren’t happening, but I hear of a lot that are. People are getting out, being safe, traveling a little differently, making the best out of the cards we’ve been dealt.  That’s really all we can do. We can either think a little differently, create a new and interesting way to live, or go crazy trying to fit the old round peg into this new square hole.

For instance, how are you keeping in shape? A lot of gyms are closed or have reduced hours. I did a couple of YouTube yoga classes. Too bad the rest of the class was deprived of seeing my less than graceful downward facing dog. Have you dusted off your bicycle? How about parking farther away from the store? That creates a little walk. Walking’s good. A chance to see the neighborhood, check out the area around where you live. I drove out to a beautiful canyon I would never have visited, had a nice hike, and saw amazing views. On the way back to the car, we cut through an empty equestrian center. Don’t worry, it was open, just no activity except for one horse walking the track. Felt like I was in a different part of the country, a different time really, with the big hanging trees, the graceful fall of the land, the stately clubhouse. And Very peaceful. And it felt like a getaway, a mini-vacation!

There are lots of these hidden gems near you. Do this with a friend, or a small group! 

How’s your inner weather?   I know it’s hot around the country. Here in Southern California, it’s a properly boring 80-85 degrees and sunny every day. And cool, perfect sleeping weather at night. We’ve been in this stretch for a couple of weeks. It’s been a little overcast near the water at night, so, no comet viewing for me.   But, that’s the outer weather… how’s your inner weather?

Cloudy? as in – man, I can’t believe we have to do this again. or Rainy, like – I’m afraid I might get sick or I wonder if my job will still be there. Or are you keeping your sunny side up, as in, now’s a good time to clean out the garage, or learn to cook something else cuz I’m tired of eating my own food?   This inner weather is the weather we can control. We get to determine how we want to feel, how we want to react, how we want to see the world. 

A lot of our ability to do this is based on what we feed ourselves. Are you paying too much attention to the news? That’s pretty much a guarantee of internal rainy days. I was just talking with a friend whose business takes him around the country. He said unequivocally that those who are inundated with news are scared and unhappy.  Those who aren’t are noticeably more upbeat and happier. Make sense?  it’s your choice.

How about reading a good book? Remember that? A glass of your favorite beverage, a seat on the deck, and treat yourself to a little journey. There’s also catching up with friends, meditating, hobbying. Do what feeds your soul. 

Here’s another idea to create your own personal sunny days. You could just make a decision.  “I’m going to be happy today.” That has been proven to work.    And I get it, some days it’s just ‘I don’t feel sunny, and I can’t make the clouds go away’, and I’m ok with that!   YES. Everyone has days like that and sometimes that’s just the way it is.    But, we don’t want to live there. Do we?

Who says we can’t control the weather?  You can control your inner-weather. This kind of personal control is a beautiful, powerful, and empowering thing. It may take a little practice, but it’s absolutely worth it….  Just sayin.

Checking in from last week. I appreciate hearing from a few of you last week. I was observing that almost all the comments I got were from people whose inner weather is sunny and they are feeling good. That totally makes sense. That makes total sense? (Actually, I did have one person reach out and share a little rainy weather with me, so good on you for being vulnerable enough to put that out there.)

Honestly, I used to never reach out if I had cloudy weather to report. I’m trying to get better at that, because, our cloudy days are real, too. We all go through this. That’s the time we need to connect and know we’re not the only one feeling this and that the clouds do soon go away. Sometimes just acknowledging it and getting acknowledged, getting a hug, real or virtual, a couple of smiley faces, silly, I know, but that connection, knowing that we’re not alone, is powerful.

Vulnerability is strength. Being vulnerable, being in touch with what you’re feeling, being conscious, is truth. Red pill kind of truth.

When we experience these kinds of feelings, those feelings that suggest we’re in our cloudy weather pattern, we don’t want to admit it. And sometimes we’re so involved in it, we’re not really aware that we’re in it. But, it is what’s happening. Acknowledging it is key. Brene Brown says ‘Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”

As we travel through these times, and there will be bumps, pay attention. Granted, it may have to be after the fog lifts, but that’s ok. If you can determine what’s behind them, as in identifying the cause, understanding occurs. Embrace it and assimilate it, which allows it to dissipate, then walk confidently and comfortably out the other side and you’ll be a little lighter not carrying around whatever it was that caused your rain, your pain. Now we’re experiencing true growth. Who wants some sun!!!

You Got This!

Just sayin’