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Ready to get back to life?

Have you thought about what your 2022 may look like? 

What would you like it to look like?

On one hand, it’s just another day. We have designated the changing of the calendar as a marker. Any day, really, is a good day to take stock, look over things, contemplate new endeavors, and be open to a new way of doing things. 

On the other hand,  I’ve always kind of railed against doing that. I’ve been ok just moving through it. Being in the moment. This year I’m taking a little different view. I am looking into what I’d like to accomplish this year. And on the second pass over my goals, I did set the bar higher than I believe I can achieve. Shoot for the stars, at least we’ll hit the moon, yes?

What lies behind and underneath your goals/dreams/visions? What I mean by that is, what are the real reasons, sometimes known as your why, that you want to have these things in your life? Look at your accomplishments through a different lens. You may see that you have already achieved some of them. Hmmm

Here is a fun exercise. Take a look over last year’s calendar. It’s nice to see, how much we actually did.    Take stock of the milestones!    Celebrate those wins!    Relive the fun! 

One more thing. In order to have room for more, spiritually and energetically speaking, we need to declutter a bit. What did you ‘carry around’ last year that you’d like to release?  Maybe you need to forgive someone?  That can be a heavy load to carry.  For example, I’m going to release reacting, so I have more room to respond. I’m releasing judgment. Both myself as well as others. This makes room for acceptance, allowing more peace, and more joy. 

Did I say I’ve not been a big fan of planning?  I’m open to a new way of doing things and I’ve enjoyed the process so far. There are no right or wrong answers, and if you make a goal and miss it, oh well. Life happens. But! Without some kind of vision, there’s no purposeful forward motion. If that is your plan, that’s ok, Do it on purpose!

Whatever is best for you, you got this.

Just sayin

Happy Holidays.
Life is good. Busy, and Good.
I appreciate you, the community of Thinkers.
I’ve enjoyed sharing ideas and receiving your comments and ideas.
At this time, I’m planning to reach out again in January. So, until then……

Take it slow
Be conscious of your thoughts.
Act on purpose.
Love your families, blood, or chosen.
Save some love for yourself.
We’ve just passed the Winter Solstice. The days are getting longer.
Follow Mama Nature’s example, and
Let the light you are shine a little brighter. 

-Just sayin

What is your life vision? Do you have a life vision? I didn’t really have one for a while and I just flowed through life participating in and accepting whatever presented itself. Not a bad life, but unsatisfying. And I wasn’t really in control of my path. 

Who out there is pretty good at visualizing how you want your lives to look? You can see the house, the car, the relationship, the work, But are you accepting those things into your lives? Might there be a sort of disconnect between what you see in your dreams and the life you’re actually living? 

Did you ever try to imagine what having these things feels like? The Universe, the Law of Attraction, or the ‘whatever you want to call it’, really responds to the emotional energy you put out in order to manifest your vision. What does that mean, exactly? 

Think of a time when you experienced some kind of emotional upset and then you started not feeling well. That’s an example of a thought, in this case, an emotion, creating a thing, the physical discomfort.  See how that works?

How would you like to set yourself up for your dream life? Here are four things to keep in mind when creating your experience. 

First, one of the most important things is to be very clear on what you want. Make sure you focus on what you DO what, not what you DON’T want. For instance, “I do want a job that challenges me” as opposed to “I don’t want to work at a job that is boring” 

Be grateful, both for what you have experienced and for what you now have. For what you’ve experienced because it got you to where you are now. And for what you have, because gratitude positively enhances the quality of the signal you’re sending into the quantum field. Conversely, doubt and negativity diminish the quality of the signal you’re sending. Whether you truly understand this concept or not, does it at least make sense? I get that it may sound a bit out there, but science keeps proving this over and over again. 

Trust the process. When you plant your crops, ok, maybe you’re just planting a few vegetables, you don’t keep pulling them up to see if they are growing, right? Trust that you’ve planted this seed and it will be ready for you to harvest when it’s ready. I experienced this with the seed I planted almost 3 years ago with regards to selling my business. If that sale had happened immediately, it wouldn’t have been right. I wasn’t really ready for it. Over time, -the plant growing- I found my new business, the buyers were ready, and everything was in place. It worked out perfectly. 

The last very important thing is to detach from the outcome. Sounds counterintuitive, I know.   Sometimes the end result looks a little different than our original vision. Most of the time it turns out better. This goes hand in hand with trusting the process. 

Bottom line, What you want wants you. And when you are ready, it will appear. Simple, right? Easy, not so much, but that’s what makes the journey so interesting and fun. Keep at it. It will happen for you. 

Just sayin’

Connection!  You know it. You’ve felt it! You meet someone and it’s palpable. That feeling of connection. It’s a beautiful thing, yes? Have you ever wondered what causes that?  Do we need connection?

Human connection – the exchange of positive energy between people. It can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life.  Notice I said positive energy. It makes sense that negative energy would repel, causing separation.  

How are all connections? I’m not suggesting you take a look at your relationship to see if it’s working, though, checking in from time to time is always a good idea. I’m thinking more about your connection with yourself. Are you good with you? 

How much do you really like you? What do you like about yourself? How about making a list of what you like about yourself. Do you treat yourself well? How well do you spend time alone?  Do you sometimes prefer yourself over anyone else? These are questions people generally don’t ask themselves, but, it’s a good thing to check into from time to time. 

If you’re not in a relationship, would getting into one make you feel whole? If you’re in one, do you feel whole?  I’m thinking of that poster that says “I like who I am when we’re together’.  Does that mean that you make me a better person? And if being with you makes me a better person, how come I can’t be that person without you? Or does it mean that when we are together I feel like I can be completely me?  Interesting that it can mean two different things.  How do you see it? Is there another way to see this I might have missed?  Damn, Dave, way too many questions!

An emotional connection is a bond that holds partners together. It is one of the most important strengths for couples to have. Without a strong emotional connection, relationships can easily drift apart. Then couples could turn to counseling. But at least they’re aware of it because they checked in. 

Social connection is now understood as a core human need, and the desire to connect is fundamental. We’re born with it. It is crucial to our development and without it, all social animals, and we are that, experience distress and other potential negative repercussions.

I bet being kinder to others would enhance social connections. Even those others we aren’t really connected to. Because, as you may know, at some level we are all connected.  

We don’t know what others are going thru. That guy that just cut you off in traffic, maybe on his way to the hospital for a family emergency. The cashier who is less than friendly may have just had her car repossessed.  That little kid who is acting up? He may have just lost his mom and doesn’t know how to process it. Allowing ourselves to feel a little compassion for another, or just accepting what is at that moment, is just one way of connecting. It is simply being open to a little understanding. Do it just because. 

When we realize we’re being hard on ourselves, turn some of that compassion inward. That’s a powerful personal connection.

EXPECTATIONS! How many of you live with expectations? How many of these expectations don’t pan out? How do you feel when that happens? There are many great sayings about expectations. Most point out that having expectations will more often than not lead to disappointment.

I believe expectations often arise from the need to control, which sits right alongside the idea of perfection. How likely is perfection in your life? I’ve decided that I no longer strive to achieve perfection. Not possible. Excellence is good enough. And depending on what you’re doing, really good is just fine! We’re the only ones that truly care. And where do those messages, those expectations of perfection come from?

I think we make most of them up. There was one point in my life, where I found myself swimming in the deep end of other people’s expectations and I almost drowned. And the thing is, They probably didn’t put them on me, or this wasn’t even discussed. It was more a case that I chose -probably not consciously at that time- to live as I thought they expected me to. There’s a recipe for potential massive upset.

There’s this great quote from author Donald Miller that says – “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” *** When you stop expecting*** I’ve personally experienced this in my life and find that the relationship is so much richer and love flows more easily when accepting people for who they are.

When we put expectations on a situation, we may be limiting possible outcomes. We don’t want to limit what goodness might be coming our way. Outcomes often far outweigh anything imagined. I was working with this woman who lost her live-in boyfriend and her job at the same time. This obviously didn’t feel good as it was completely out of anything she expected. She took a breath & accepted what was. And then, took advantage of the sudden freedom to enjoy an extended visit to Italy. Upon returning, she quickly got a better job and soon after found the ‘love of her life’. True story. No one could have forseen that outcome. And was it better than anything she might have expected? I think so. Especially if she had tried to control things.

Where do you have expectations? On whom do you have expectations? Where do you feel, perceived or otherwise, that you have expectations placed on you? And being aware of this, where can you begin to let some of these go?

Imagine the peace you can experience and all the pleasant surprising outcomes, just by acceptance and being in the flow. Just sayin

Happiness. Are you happy? What makes you happy?  What does happy feel like? If something can make us happy, doesn’t it make sense that something could make us unhappy? 

I believe that happiness ebbs and flows and is contingent on externally triggered stimuli: other people, things, places, and events. Happiness is a destination. 

Joy is an attitude. It’s more consistent, longer lasting and is cultivated internally.  It carries with it no burden or expectation. It comes when you are at peace with who you are, why you are and how you are.

When people say they are happy I wonder if contentment, a peaceful easy feeling or satisfaction is actually the feeling and the word happiness is just a synonym for these feelings.

The world we experience is seen through our lenses, our filters, which colors our perception of it. Which also means we can manage our experience, by choosing how we’d like to see things.  Here’s a little something to think about.. How would you like to experience your life?  You get to decide.  

One example of the difference between happiness and joy is: winning the lottery would bring happiness, building a business that earns that same money would bring joy. 

Gratitude evokes joy. Living within your moral code, Inner peace and contentment, serving others gives rise to joy. Your spiritual connection, regardless of how you define it, inspires joy!  I purposely didn’t say these things create joy because joy is already within us. And because joy is part of you, you can even experience it during dark times by appreciating the little things that already bring you joy.  That morning cuppa, a walk, hobbies… 

You can absolutely live a life that’s happy. You can have fun, connect, laugh, and as long as that is happening,  it’s all good. And when it’s over,  Then what? Happiness fades.

On the other hand, you can invite in or allow that complete feeling of joy that only you are experiencing because it is in you. It is a part of you. Never to leave. No one or no thing can take it away from you. Ever.  

Happiness or joy? Your choice. 

Actually, there’s no reason we can’t have both.

Just sayin

Family. It comes in all manner of form, function and feeling. The ‘standard’ definition is the nuclear family we are born into. That one has personalities all it’s own. The scripts written here last a lifetime and some folks who try to forge their own way can have a devil of a time trying to rewrite them.  Then there is the family that we choose. Our friends, our partners, the ones we live with, play in bands with, work with, etc.

We learn a lot from our family, don’t we?  I believe everyone wants to belong and feel connected. Did you ever stop to think about why we want to be connected? 

I think we are all connected at a level we sometimes aren’t aware of, at our core. There is a thread of, something, that connects us all.  It is evident when we meet someone and there is an instant connection, an affinity. A feeling of comfort.  A feeling that we may have known each other before.

I think this thread also works as the connection between species. We’ve all felt connected to a pet. More than just love, connected. We’ve seen the unlikely pairings of different kinds of animals being besties. How does that happen? 

They say love is blind. True love doesn’t concern itself with the package. It all comes from the heart.  And where does the heart get it?  Hmmm

You may have heard the phrase ‘you have to love your family, you don’t necessarily have to like them’. I might even have said it a couple of times. Truth is, I believe the goal is to love everyone. How do you love everyone?  By embracing a ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ Namasté kind of love.  A basic respect for life itself and the people in it. And I get it. Sometimes it’s just not realistic that we would like everyone. We are human. Folks are different and have their own paths. Sometimes, at the human level, there truly is no connection. And that’s ok. We can still respect others’ paths and their light, which comes from the same place yours does, which makes us all from the same family, right? 

Just sayin’.

I’m thinking about you this week.

Every week I’ve been sharing with you what’s on my mind.  Now, I’m wondering, what’s going on in your world?  Life goes on, but I’m guessing things are probably pretty good for the most part. What about behind the scenes? Look, I’m not trying to muddy your water or have you try real hard to find something wrong, but more often than not, and I find this often in myself, there’s always something lurking just below life’s surface that would like some attention. 

Are you happy in your work, or just trying to be. Someone asks how it’s going and we say, “it’s ok, thanks for asking”, in our best Eeyore imitation.

Here’s a suggestion. Check in with you. What’s really going on in your world?  Look at all the different facets of it. Take note of how you feel. No need to change anything. Just check in. I find that knowing where I am, or how I’m doing, whether the answer pleases me or not, keeps me conscious, and on point of where I am. And as you know, we can’t get to where we want to go, if we don’t know where we are

Just sayin’

They say the only thing constant is change. We believe them.

I’m dividing change into 2 buckets. One bucket is that change happens. You get laid off. Someone very close dies unexpectedly or moves away. Basically, this first bucket is an external event that changes the trajectory of your life.

The 2nd bucket is self ‘inflicted’. You decide it’s time to: get out of -or into- a relationship, get a different job, change careers, move across the country. Sell everything and travel while living in a VW Microbus.

How well do you or do you not deal with change? Do you find it exciting or nerve-racking?  Is it easy for you or would you rather get a root canal?

I was talking with a friend the other day who absolutely loves it. Lives for it. She says, if she’s not changing, she’s not living. On the other hand, I know people who are still living in the town they grew up in. Some in the very same house, working the same job, driving the same car…

If or when you do make a change, what is your direction? Do you generally move towards where you want to be or are you trying to move away from where you are, thinking “anything but this!!”

Does that make sense?  Running away from something is a different energy vs moving toward something.  I like the energy of moving towards something. It is a positive, in charge, at-cause kind of energy. This is called anabolic energy. It is a creative, building up, constructive kind of energy. The opposite side of this is a destructive tearing down energy known as catabolic. These are different in the way they present, the way they feel, and in the way they act on your body, most specifically your endocrine system.

Change is inevitable. Even our bodies change completely every 7 years. It is going to happen. How we react to change is our choice.

I’m rounding third towards a big change in my life. And I know I’m moving towards it. I’m selling my business and I’m moving to coaching full time. Even though I’ve been building up to this for a couple of years, and I’m very excited about this, I admit to it being a little anxious, but even through that lens, I’m certain that it is the right thing to do, for me. Besides, if I wasn’t a little nervous, I wouldn’t be human. I’m definitely human. Ask my kids. They’ll tell you.

When we go through any kind of change, we become more closely aligned with who we truly are and who we truly can be. It may feel insignificant at the time, but if you look back, every change has all contributed to who you are at this moment in time. And it enhances what you have to offer others. How many times have you heard, I wouldn’t wish what I’ve been through on anybody, but I’d wish what I learned from it on everyone.

Change has formed you into the person you are today. And it’s probably nothing compared to the person you will be tomorrow.

Just Sayin’