EXPECTATIONS! How many of you live with expectations? How many of these expectations don’t pan out? How do you feel when that happens? There are many great sayings about expectations. Most point out that having expectations will more often than not lead to disappointment.
I believe expectations often arise from the need to control, which sits right alongside the idea of perfection. How likely is perfection in your life? I’ve decided that I no longer strive to achieve perfection. Not possible. Excellence is good enough. And depending on what you’re doing, really good is just fine! We’re the only ones that truly care. And where do those messages, those expectations of perfection come from?
I think we make most of them up. There was one point in my life, where I found myself swimming in the deep end of other people’s expectations and I almost drowned. And the thing is, They probably didn’t put them on me, or this wasn’t even discussed. It was more a case that I chose -probably not consciously at that time- to live as I thought they expected me to. There’s a recipe for potential massive upset.
There’s this great quote from author Donald Miller that says – “When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” *** When you stop expecting*** I’ve personally experienced this in my life and find that the relationship is so much richer and love flows more easily when accepting people for who they are.
When we put expectations on a situation, we may be limiting possible outcomes. We don’t want to limit what goodness might be coming our way. Outcomes often far outweigh anything imagined. I was working with this woman who lost her live-in boyfriend and her job at the same time. This obviously didn’t feel good as it was completely out of anything she expected. She took a breath & accepted what was. And then, took advantage of the sudden freedom to enjoy an extended visit to Italy. Upon returning, she quickly got a better job and soon after found the ‘love of her life’. True story. No one could have forseen that outcome. And was it better than anything she might have expected? I think so. Especially if she had tried to control things.
Where do you have expectations? On whom do you have expectations? Where do you feel, perceived or otherwise, that you have expectations placed on you? And being aware of this, where can you begin to let some of these go?
Imagine the peace you can experience and all the pleasant surprising outcomes, just by acceptance and being in the flow. Just sayin