Author: davamon

Judging Ourselves

We talked about judging others, we talked about being judged Or at least feeling like we’re being judged, and now there’s one more part of this triangle… Judging ourselves. It’s interesting how hard we can be on ourselves. I was talking with a friend and we were observing about how much stuff we are involved with, how much there is to do, and how it feels like we’re not really doing it. Further conversation uncovered a fair amount of forward movement actually being made. Why are we so hard on ourselves?   Would it be so bad if we gave ourselves a break? We give our friends breaks all the time…. What up with that? 

What exactly is judging? We have thoughts and feelings about a situation and we attach meanings to them. When the meanings about those thoughts produce feelings of anxiety, anger, depression, etc. judging has taken place. When we turn those feelings on ourselves, it has a negative effect on our self-esteem, our happiness, our General well-being.

I’m reminded of Chris Farley doing his interview character on Saturday Night Live. When he asked what he perceived to be a ‘Stoopid Question’ he would hit himself on his head and berate himself. A perfect -tho comedic- example of self-judgment. How many times have we, and I’m on this list too, done something and immediately gone into ‘’Stoopid! Man! What an …..”.  How’s that Feel? And would you ever do that to a friend?

Here might be the biggest secret to slow down that self-judgment. 

How ‘bout we treat ourselves at least as good as we treat our friends. Show a little self-compassion, some self-understanding. Let’s give ourselves a break!  We are doing the best we can. And if we’re not, we can change that behavior. Besides, If we had different information, we would something else.  Pause. Take a breath. Relax. Notice what’s going on. Accept what is and either hang with that, on purpose or change it. 

We can easily be happier, more at peace, more productive, and more comfortable with us. We can create this!    It’s all within our control. 

Just Sayin’

Judging

Judging. From the very beginning of time, and probably before that, people have judged. Why is that?  Let’s start with this definition. Judging is “The act of looking down upon someone; to regard as inferior.”

Judging suggests that there is a right and a wrong. And the very nature of being the judger suggests that you think you are right and somebody else is wrong. I believe a lot of these judgments come from a place of fear which sprout from a place of not understanding.  People are afraid of what they don’t know.  What could make someone so afraid of something they aren’t even involved in that they would react by judging someone else. 

When I touched on this last year, it was about me judging. I noticed that I was doing it. How I felt when I was doing it. What it meant, what I could learn and how I could stop it.  I think I did pretty well, but there is always more to learn.

Well, judging has come up again. But this time from a different angle.
This time, I’m feeling like I’m on the receiving end. Now I have an idea of how the person who feels they are being judged might react.  It’s not that I’ve personally been attacked, but the negative energy towards the one being judged, in this case, me, makes one feel as if they were being lashed out against. Then comes the feeling of needing to defend something that quite honestly doesn’t need to be defended.

I’ve been working to ignore it, as I know it’s not about me, but it is still sticking in my craw. I understand this comes from a place of caring, backed by a lack of understanding, but it’s judging nonetheless. I’m still curious about why it is happening, and I’m really wondering about the lack of communication around it. A visit is a very simple resolution.  On a side note, isn’t it amazing how many situations could be quickly and easily resolved with even just a little bit of communication?

When you notice yourself as judging, can you identify your truth about this? Remember that we tend to be afraid of what we don’t know. What are you afraid of?  I don’t know the answer to that, of course. It’s your fear, your question and it would be your answer. When you ask yourself the question, it will be interesting to see what comes up. And it might help to ask the question, get an answer, ask it again, get a different answer. Do this 2-3 times to get a deeper answer. You’ll know when you hit the answer that rings your perfect truth.

How nice would it be to go through your days not judging and understanding that if you feel judged, it’s not about you? You are perfectly fine. And so is everyone else.

Just sayin’

More Energy

Last week we, touched on energy. I’ve been thinking about it, so I thought I’d share. Energy is all there is, everywhere, always. It cannot be created or destroyed, only modified. It takes all different forms, it vibrates at different frequencies. We are energy.  Our bodies, everything in them. Even our reactions to life are energetically informed.   Are you aware of your energy?   What does it feel like?   What is the energy I am giving off right now?

Energy in humans has been mapped out from very low to very high based on vibration. One of the lowest energies is apathy. Apathy could be created to avoid pain caused by feeling like a victim or feeling hopeless. We might say ‘I never win anything’ or ‘I could never do that’ or ‘I could never be that’. Those thoughts hurt, so we withdraw to a place of apathy, and it doesn’t hurt so much. When was the last time you withdrew, maybe to protect yourself from a sense of overwhelm?

Next up is anger. Anger rates higher than apathy because it creates action. It seems like anger might be perceived as a bad energy. There is no such thing as good or bad energy. Energy just is. It’s how we experience it, and ultimately how we use it.   Anger is a very powerful, short burst energy. We can’t sustain it for very long, but it actually can be used for good. For instance, If we are angry about something we are inclined to take action. And depending on what we do, that’s a good thing, yes?  That is an example of using a lower level of energy to your advantage.

There are more levels that I will be exploring and sharing with you. For now, notice your thoughts. I know we don’t like to consider ourselves as victims, but what if you thought, even fleetingly, something like ‘of course that would happen to me’? you might say, hmmmm. Is there really a small amount of that in me? Now that you’re aware of it, what might you like to do about that stinkin’ thinkin’?

At the end of the day, when you understand how energy works, you can modify it in yourself and show up in life the way you want to, on purpose.
                                                       
Just sayin’

Energy

Energy is all around everywhere in everything always. It cannot be created it cannot be destroyed, though it can be changed. Einstein measured it by E=MC2. Newton measured the energy of gravity. Scientists have measured how much energy is needed to send a rocket from into space. Kind of amazing when you think about it. 

I bet you’ve felt the energy of anticipation while waiting for the big game or a concert.  There is a different more subtle kind of energy at a wedding. What about the energy in a room you just walked into? Sometimes it’s buzzing, upbeat, happy. Sometimes it’s heavy, dark, draining, and you’re feeling, ‘I can’t wait to get out of here’!

Sometimes we’re full of energy and ready to go and sometimes all we wanna do is sit on the couch and watch stupid TV.

It makes sense that when you understand how energy works, or at least how it feels, and how to identify and modify it in yourself, you are better able to accomplish the visions you have for your life.

I have an idea. Pay attention to what’s going on around you. Can you feel the energy? How does that make you feel? Can you put a name to what you’re feeling? Can you change your energy, hopefully from feeling down to being more up?

Wouldn’t it be cool if we could on purpose be more upbeat, more positive, and more in control of how we show up in the world? We actually do have the power to control our own energy. They say that, energetically, like attracts like. Therefore we could attract more of what we like to us.

Wouldn’t that be cool? 

                                                         Just sayin’

Recharging

How do you recharge? Last month we touched on relaxing, but there is a difference between recharging and relaxing. Being relaxed makes it easier for us to get through the storms of our lives. The visual being the bending of the palm trees in the hurricane. The tree says, what wind? I got this! (Smart tree)

Recharging is getting rejuvenated for whatever is next. This works even if, or especially if what’s next is the same thing as yesterday. Like work, for instance.  When we think of recharging we generally think of batteries. They get used up, we recharge them, and they are ready to go again. That’s how we are. We get used up. Exhausted. Beat. Spent. Toast. Done!  Then what? We have to Recharge. How? Bed? Shower? Massage? TV? Meditate? Spending time in nature. Walk on the beach? And sometimes our passions recharge us. What passions and hobbies do you have that recharge and rejuvenate you?

Here are some ideas that can help to recharge: Take breaks from things and people that bring you down. …Do something fun.  Spend time with close friends and family. … And to recharge your mind and your soul: Write out a list of your accomplishments. …  Let go of past mistakes. ……Take a break from technology.

Whatever it is for you and however you decide, life is much better when we are relaxed, rejuvenated and ready for,  whatever.

Relax and recharge.  And then…

Watch out world. 

Just sayin’

Patience

Hows’ your patience?

Last week we ushered in a new era of leadership. Half the people are happy, half, not so much. The people who were not happy at the beginning of the last administration employed patience along with hope that it would work out. The mindset being, it is what is, we’re in it! Let’s, hope for and expect the best. Now we have a new leader in the white house, we get a chance to work on this again. Let’s have a little patience along with hope and the expectation that this will work out for the best of the country and everyone in it. We need to give it some time.

Does this mean we have to just blindly accept whatever it is that’s going on in the world whether we like it or not? First of all, yes. We have to accept what is as it is. If we don’t like it, then we take appropriate steps to make whatever change needs to be/or can be made. And sometimes, that takes patience also.

It takes a long time to grow a strong tree. It takes time to build a solid business. It takes the time it takes to repair that road that was washed out in the flood. It takes work and patience to create that perfect relationship. 

Patience is a way of being that allows what is happening to happen. Lack of patience suggests that one is not happy with or does not accept what is currently going on. One classic example of this is ‘I’ll be happy when…’ If we were to always wait to be happy, we’d never really be happy. And that moment is always fleeting. I’ll be happy when I get that new car.  Guess what, it won’t be new very long. Then what do we have to wait for to be happy? Why wait. Be happy now! And have patience. Everything will get here in due time. At the right time.

Just sayin’

Let yourself dream – Big!

2021 sure has started out with a bang!  What did we expect?  Here’s an idea. Let’s focus on something else for a minute or two.

We are a little over 2 weeks into the new year. How many of you made -and/or broken- new year’s resolutions?  I remember these resolutions were things we probably ‘should’ do, lose weight, clean out the garage, read a book a day, feed the dog, that sort of thing. All good resolutions. Doing these would definitely enhance your life.

This year, let’s let our imaginations run wild. I’m encouraging you to make your dream resolution… what would you really really really like? That’s 3 reallys.  In comfort and privacy of your mind, what do you dream about, what situations do you picture yourself in, even though they might not make sense in ‘the real world’? Walk the Appalachian Trail? Take 2 months vacation instead of 2 weeks. Conduct a symphony? Quit your job. Attend a retreat in the Himalayas. Start that new business. Write that album/book/play. Sell your house and live on the road in an RV. See a baseball game in all 30 parks in one season …. Getting the idea?

And I get it. The dreams you have identified in your heart have Gotchas and Yeah-but’s built into them. Gotchas and Yeah-but’s. Those are technical terms.  It’s understandable that there are many things going on in our lives that make it not really prudent to do something like that – at this time.

But, what if you allowed yourself to dream. The genie says ‘your wish is my command. Dream big!  Dream from your heart, not just in your head. Put it out there. Have fun with it. What would you really truly like to do? And go for the feeling! 

       How are you feeling now that you won the lottery? 

            What does it feel like to captain your own boat on the open water?

Imagine crossing the finish line of your first triathlon, family and friends cheering you on. You did it! 

            It’s opening night at the gallery and you’re the featured artist.

You’re on the bestseller list. Congratulations!

Allow yourself to feel what you would feel like when these dreams become reality. And who knows, what if even just a small part of what you dream about actually happened?

Just sayin’

Power vs Force

There is a lot of anger, confusion, and fear around what happened at the Capitol last week.  It got me thinking about Power vs Force.

The invasion was an exercise, an example, of force. The ending result was an example of power. The power of a process, and belief in that process that has lasted centuries and has led this country to be a global power. 

An oak tree is an example of power. It just sits there and grows, providing shade, beauty, homes for animals, and effortlessly does what oaks do. It withstands the force of all manner of storms and continues peacefully existing. It is power.          

Storms happen, and we’ve experienced that temporary release of energy. It is a powerful force. Sometimes the tree gets damaged but doesn’t die. It just stands there in its power and effortlessly continues to grow. Over time it becomes more beautiful and interesting in its own way. That life power is stronger than any force. 

I know, man can come and cut it down, remove its roots and completely kill it. Man has used lots of force over the years to do that and more. Maybe not one of our best attributes.

Events created by Force are like dark clouds & quickly pass. 
Events created by Power radiate light and are everlasting. 

Are you in touch with your power? 
Imagine what beauty and light you are capable of

Happy 2021

Happy New Year, Happy 2021, Happy to be Hear How!  There’s a lot to think about, a lot to ruminate on, a lot to share, and I probably will, later. For now, I’m keeping it simple. 

Look where we are! We got here. We have proven that there is nothing we can’t do. There is nothing we can’t overcome. Take a minute, look back at what you’ve accomplished, and sit with that. Good on ya!

As we turn over that fresh page on the calendar, we look at the future with new optimism, renewed hope, an updated vision, and knowing that we can, what’s stopping you now? You got this!

Just sayin’

Light

There are many celebrations this month, of all flavors, colors, and for various reasons. I counted at least 46.  I’d like to touch on 4 with a common theme..|

We are celebrating the birth of the boy Jesus, the birth of the Christ Consciousness, carrier of the Light.
It was in December that a man by the name of Siddhartha Gautama experienced enlightenment and became the Buddha. 

The longest night of the year, also known as the Winter Solstice, is when the days, the light, start getting longer. 

Hanukkah – a celebration of the light, as the story goes, as there was enough oil for one night, the flame miraculously burned for 8 days.

See where I’m going here? Light. This is the season of light. I wonder why we can’t have light every season!  We can if we want to. Every day in fact!  It’s our attitude, and a way of thinking that leads to a way of being. 

Have you wondered how the people who walk in and light up a room think? Their natural way is to think of possibilities, inclusion, compassion.  They believe everyone can win. They see everything as great! And if we think that, we’ll act like that, and if we act like that we will experience that. What a great gift to give oneself and then we share that gift with the world. 

As we move together towards a more abundant, prosperous, compassionate life lived on purpose,
I wish for you and yours Hope, Peace, Love, and of course, Light,

Just Sayin’