Lately, references to the 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz have crossed my path and I thought it would be fun to do a little jamming on these. The 4 Agreements is a book based on the ancient wisdom of the Toltecs, focused on four moral pillars. We’ll start with Agreement #1, Be impeccable with your word.
What does that mean? As you know, words have power. Power to create. Power to destroy. When you speak, do you speak with integrity? When you say something, how do you mean it? It’s best to avoid using your word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
While in a conversation, listen with the intent to understand. Then, take a breath. Formulate your thoughts. Ask yourself, Is what you’re about to say true, kind, necessary? Be aware that many things, even true things, don’t need to be said! You’ll find yourself responding in a way that aligns with your values, your truth.
Also, take note of how you’re feeling. If you’re experiencing a bit of agitation, and only you know what that feels like, you may end up saying something you wish you didn’t. You won’t be able to take it back. You don’t get a do-over. Man, that hurts
As I work on this. I realized I’ve given me my word that I would send something every Monday. Life happens, and sometimes gets in the way, but my word, to me, is enough to make myself sit down and put something out.
What kinds of promises have you made to yourself that urges you to be your best self? What is your commitment to that word?
Think of your word as a contract. If you say you’ll be there or do this, and you can’t or you didn’t, that’s a broken contract. If there’s a chance you might not do it, saying, ‘I’ll try’ or ‘I’ll do my best’ allows you to retain the impeccability I believe we’d all like to live with.
Being impeccable with your word means watching your thoughts, paying attention to the way you talk to and about others, and paying attention to the way you talk to and about yourself. Doing this will help you be in congruence with your values, your vision, your hopes, and dreams.
Imagine, living impeccably and authentically, and your life is amazing on so many levels.
Just sayin’
Hi Dave, my first time here. I appreciated your comments about the being impeccable with your word. I am breathing now, and taking a pause. I’m asking myself if the thoughts I’m having really need to be said. I decided to continue.
After I wrote out my thoughts and reread them to myself, I decided not to print them here. I saw no added value, simply an argument.
Continuing my line of thinking…
I will say that those thoughts I erased were about how often, at least in my experience, the words “I’ll try” really are an insincere way of saying, “No.”
When striving to be impeccable with our word, we would also want to have the courage to risk disappointing someone, whoever is doing the asking, by saying, “No, that won’t work for me.”
That’s great awareness and insightful Mary. This angle supports not only impeccability but more honest communication. The risk of disappointing someone is our take on how they might respond. And we don’t know how they would respond. It’s empowering to let them decide, yes?
Thanks for reaching out.