Month: May 2021

I’m thinking about you this week.

Every week I’ve been sharing with you what’s on my mind.  Now, I’m wondering, what’s going on in your world?  Life goes on, but I’m guessing things are probably pretty good for the most part. What about behind the scenes? Look, I’m not trying to muddy your water or have you try real hard to find something wrong, but more often than not, and I find this often in myself, there’s always something lurking just below life’s surface that would like some attention. 

Are you happy in your work, or just trying to be. Someone asks how it’s going and we say, “it’s ok, thanks for asking”, in our best Eeyore imitation.

How are your relationships? There’s a can of worms sometimes best left unopened, but just taking a look and being aware, might confirm what we know to be the truth. That doesn’t mean we have to do anything about it.

Are you or have you been working on some sort of personal growth? That’s always an adventure. What’s coming up for you there?  I’m finding that the more work I do, the more work needs to be done.  Just this last weekend I got the pleasure of dealing with something, again, that I thought that I had taken care of 3 years ago. Who knew there was that much stuff stored in the garage? And the basement? And the shed? And did I even put some of that shit in storage?

Here’s a suggestion. Check in with you. What’s really going on in your world?  Look at all the different facets of it. Take note of how you feel. No need to change anything. Just check in. I find that knowing where I am, or how I’m doing, whether the answer pleases me or not, keeps me conscious, and on point of where I am. And as you know, we can’t get to where we want to go, if we don’t know where we are

Just sayin’

They say the only thing constant is change. We believe them.

I’m dividing change into 2 buckets. One bucket is that change happens. You get laid off. Someone very close dies unexpectedly or moves away. Basically, this first bucket is an external event that changes the trajectory of your life.

The 2nd bucket is self ‘inflicted’. You decide it’s time to: get out of -or into- a relationship, get a different job, change careers, move across the country. Sell everything and travel while living in a VW Microbus.

How well do you or do you not deal with change? Do you find it exciting or nerve-racking?  Is it easy for you or would you rather get a root canal?

I was talking with a friend the other day who absolutely loves it. Lives for it. She says, if she’s not changing, she’s not living. On the other hand, I know people who are still living in the town they grew up in. Some in the very same house, working the same job, driving the same car…

If or when you do make a change, what is your direction? Do you generally move towards where you want to be or are you trying to move away from where you are, thinking “anything but this!!”

Does that make sense?  Running away from something is a different energy vs moving toward something.  I like the energy of moving towards something. It is a positive, in charge, at-cause kind of energy. This is called anabolic energy. It is a creative, building up, constructive kind of energy. The opposite side of this is a destructive tearing down energy known as catabolic. These are different in the way they present, the way they feel, and in the way they act on your body, most specifically your endocrine system.

Change is inevitable. Even our bodies change completely every 7 years. It is going to happen. How we react to change is our choice.

I’m rounding third towards a big change in my life. And I know I’m moving towards it. I’m selling my business and I’m moving to coaching full time. Even though I’ve been building up to this for a couple of years, and I’m very excited about this, I admit to it being a little anxious, but even through that lens, I’m certain that it is the right thing to do, for me. Besides, if I wasn’t a little nervous, I wouldn’t be human. I’m definitely human. Ask my kids. They’ll tell you.

When we go through any kind of change, we become more closely aligned with who we truly are and who we truly can be. It may feel insignificant at the time, but if you look back, every change has all contributed to who you are at this moment in time. And it enhances what you have to offer others. How many times have you heard, I wouldn’t wish what I’ve been through on anybody, but I’d wish what I learned from it on everyone.

Change has formed you into the person you are today. And it’s probably nothing compared to the person you will be tomorrow.

Just Sayin’

Let’s talk about conversation! My observation is that we don’t have them! And it’s not that we don’t talk. There is plenty of talking going on. What I see is that there aren’t really that many conversations happening. A conversation where both parties take turns talking and sharing, and when one is talking the other is listening to ideas that are explained and then expanded upon. When this happens, there is a connection and an understanding which leads to compassion and peace.

Observe what goes on around you. How many times do you notice that one person does all the talking? How many times do you notice interruptions with the intent to speak, but the interrupter is not really sure what they’re responding to, just making sure they get their point across.

I could go on a bit about this, but I’m going to keep it short and to the point.

I believe that conversations need to happen. Open, honest, heartfelt conversations about hot topics, our ideas, and beliefs without trashing the people who don’t necessarily agree. We really don’t need people to agree, and we’re not going to change any minds anyway.  To listen and to understand is a very powerful practice and everyone gains from it.

This week, I challenge you to listen. Without judgment. And to understand.  That’s how you connect. And learn.  About them, their thoughts, their beliefs, what’s important to them and you’ll probably even learn something about the world and yourself.

I believe with this openness, the world can be a more connected and peaceful place.

Just sayin’

A funny thing happened this week that perfectly illustrates what I’ve been thinking about this week.  I’ve been thinking about how things that influence our energy, which affects our moods and/or our inner presence, can affect our performance.

I was lucky enough to experience a first-hand demonstration of what we call an external influencer. I was working, on a ladder and felt a little pinch in my lower back. I expect some of you are, unfortunately, a little too familiar with this feeling.

Hmm, I say to myself, not too bad, purposely ignoring that something in my infrastructure is now out of line. But, I kept going. I muscled through, pun intended, doing what I do, for a few days, knowing full well something was amiss, but not allowing myself the time to take care of it, to take care of me. Of course, if I had taken care of it when it happened, it would be a simple fix.

Come Thursday morning, I can barely stand, and standing straight isn’t even an option.   There goes my day.

This is a perfect example of an external influencer and how it affected my day, actually, days now, in a way that is not really productive.

What are your influencers? Internal or External? Weather? Emotional upset? Physical Pain? Traffic? Other people? Are you involved in something that is not completely aligned with your values? They can affect you if you don’t pay attention to the signals.

Listen to your body.   Do you need more sleep? Are you putting proper fuel in?
Listen to your mind.   What are you feeding it? Do you watch a lot of TV? Are you a news junkie? Do you read? What kinds of books.   When you’re out and about what is the nature of your conversation?

Are you aware of your thoughts and how they affect you?

I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again. Awareness is key.

And with awareness, we -not the world around us- control our energy instead of it controlling us.   

Then we live consciously, on purpose.
And that’s a good thing. 
 Just sayin’ 

Do you feel powerful?  If you did, what would that feel like?  What would you do differently? Do you know how powerful you actually are? First off, what do I mean by powerful? I believe that inherent in our being is a creator. We are the creator of our lives. We are at cause. We get to decide what we do, how we do it, where we do it and with whom. And if we end up in a situation that isn’t exactly what we planned or we aren’t happy with, we get to change it. That kind of Power.

You may wonder that if we created something how can we be unhappy with it? We did the best we could at the time with what we had to work with. Things change, we change, and what is important to us morphs over time. It’s ok to create something, realize that wasn’t exactly what we wanted, and change it. We get to create again.

Why are we not living the lives we envision for ourselves? The ones we allow ourselves to dream about in our safe places. Whatever that dream is to you, it is your dream. Honor that. I do. So, why don’t we allow ourselves to dream? I think it’s mostly because we don’t believe we have what we dream about. Because we limit ourselves with outside influencers such as money, time, other people, the economy, etc. Because there are internal influencers like lack of self worth, limited beliefs, all manner of stinkin’ thinkin’. Is it possible that deep down we could be afraid that we may actually get what we dream about? Then what?  

There’s a Marianne Williamson poem called ‘Our Greatest Fear’. The premise is that we are not afraid of our darkness, or that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are ‘powerful beyond measure’. That we are actually afraid of our power. Does that maybe answer the question that, if we are all that, why do we play small. Is it maybe to make those around us comfortable? We don’t want others to feel insecure!  Or are we just blaming them so we don’t have to work so hard.

I believe that if we’re trying to be something we’re not, we’re being inauthentic. In this case we’re playing small when we’ve got so much to offer.  It’s like jumping up in the air and trying not to let gravity pull you down.  It’s much more work to try to be something that we are not!

I admit, getting real with with this idea could be a tough one. But I encourage you to ask yourself the tough questions. Start with, do I have what I really want, and if not, why not. And just keep asking again and again until you hit a nerve. That’s the sign that you are facing your truth.  It could be the start of something slightly unnerving, a little scary, and ultimately amazingly beautiful and completely freeing.

Just sayin’