Month: July 2020

Checking in from last week. I appreciate hearing from a few of you last week. I was observing that almost all the comments I got were from people whose inner weather is sunny and they are feeling good. That totally makes sense. That makes total sense? (Actually, I did have one person reach out and share a little rainy weather with me, so good on you for being vulnerable enough to put that out there.)

Honestly, I used to never reach out if I had cloudy weather to report. I’m trying to get better at that, because, our cloudy days are real, too. We all go through this. That’s the time we need to connect and know we’re not the only one feeling this and that the clouds do soon go away. Sometimes just acknowledging it and getting acknowledged, getting a hug, real or virtual, a couple of smiley faces, silly, I know, but that connection, knowing that we’re not alone, is powerful.

Vulnerability is strength. Being vulnerable, being in touch with what you’re feeling, being conscious, is truth. Red pill kind of truth.

When we experience these kinds of feelings, those feelings that suggest we’re in our cloudy weather pattern, we don’t want to admit it. And sometimes we’re so involved in it, we’re not really aware that we’re in it. But, it is what’s happening. Acknowledging it is key. Brene Brown says ‘Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.”

As we travel through these times, and there will be bumps, pay attention. Granted, it may have to be after the fog lifts, but that’s ok. If you can determine what’s behind them, as in identifying the cause, understanding occurs. Embrace it and assimilate it, which allows it to dissipate, then walk confidently and comfortably out the other side and you’ll be a little lighter not carrying around whatever it was that caused your rain, your pain. Now we’re experiencing true growth. Who wants some sun!!!

You Got This!

Just sayin’

Are you living your dreams, or just living this life? Do you even know what your dreams are? And if you don’t know, how will you know when you reach them? I know that for the most part, we’re living a fine life. Some are working, some retired. We’re sleeping inside, eating regularly, sometimes a little too much. We are raising or have raised kids. We enjoy our relationships. We’re doing the best we can to save something so we can retire. We get out every once in a while for some fun. (I know, these are challenging times for getting out, but  I’m thinking big picture. We’ll get out again) So, It’s a good life.

I’m wondering – are you happy? As in an ‘I’m in heaven’ happy?’  Like, “there is nothing I’d rather be doing different than what I am doing now” kind of happy?  And what does that even mean?   I go a few rounds with this question every once in a while. Here are a couple of ideas to chew on.

This idea of happiness, this pure -it doesn’t get any better than this- kind of happiness seems to be fleeting.  I’ve touched it at times. I like to think we’ve all at least visited that ‘truly happy’ place.   And when we do find ourselves in that feeling, in that place, do we take a moment and truly enjoy it? or does it just pass, and maybe we don’t even realize we were in it, until we’re not?

I’m thinking that to get there, to this place of happiness, we don’t need to do anything different than what we’re doing.  This happiness thing happens to us just by being. Being what. Being on purpose. Living on purpose. Being more than just ‘fine’.  Actually Being Happy! And, being in the moment. That’s where happiness resides.

For me, what we do or what we have isn’t really a measurement of how we truly feel about life. Interesting concept, but think about it. What if we just take a moment to look at things differently.  For instance, just have a little more gratitude for what we have. Focus on the little things. Be present. And with these simple observations, we won’t have to change too much of what we’re doing. Wayne Dyer said, “change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.” Dave says, change the way we look at things, and we can sit in the feeling of having it all. Maybe we are actually are living our dreams. Maybe, our dreams are just to experience happiness. If so, let’s take a moment and truly appreciate it.

Just sayin’

I can’t do that…. how do you know. Have you tried? There are so many things we’d like to do… ok, I’ll just talk about me. there are so many things I’d like to do. Drive over 100 miles an hour, mm, did that. Jumped from an airplane, ok, did that too. Conduct the Boston Pops in the “Stars and Stripes for Forever”? Now there’s a Bucket list item! Can I do that? I don’t know, I haven’t tried. But it would be great fun!

Let’s start with something simple. Meditation. I hear so many people say.. ‘I can’t meditate. I’m terrible at it!” What does that mean, terrible at meditating? Not possible! Anything that anybody does that is anywhere close to something that might be considered meditating is a good thing. Can you sit in a lotus pose for 4 hours without moving and have your mind take you somewhere amazing? Probably not – yet. Can you sit for 2 minutes and watch your breath go in and out? I bet you can. There. Meditation. Just takes a little practice.

Can you play the piano? Have you ever tried? I could -or someone could- show you a couple of chords, how they work in a song, and boom! You’re playing piano. Are you any good? Probably not. you’ve just been playing for 5 minutes. You wanna be better? Ya gotta practice. Remember the directions on how to get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice. How do you get better at meditating? Practice, practice, practice.

What do you want to get better at?…. writing, exercising? data entry? cooking? anything and everything is possible! Start somewhere. Start small. Lao Tzu says the journey of a thousand miles starts with one step. Whatever it is that you want to do, just start. Pretty simple. One step at a time. Then another. And another. You’ll get there. Where will you get? Depends on where you want to go. That one is up to you.

You think you can’t do that? You’re right. You think you can do that? You’re also right. What would you like to do? Think about that! Just sayin’

Freedom. What does it mean to you? When I say that word I think of Richie Havens singing ‘Freedom, Freedom” to open up the Woodstock festival. That was the beginning of an event where people of all shapes, sizes, colors and backgrounds hung out together for 3 days of love, respect for each other, and a little bit of rock and roll. It was an example of infinite possibilities. 

We’ve just celebrated the 4th of July weekend.  Since 1776 we’ve enjoyed the celebration of our freedom from a system we felt was oppressing us. We wanted to live as we choose to, not as someone else chooses us to.

Our country was founded on a principle of “certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”. What exactly does that mean? You have a right to life. To living it? To just having a life? Having a life covers a lot of ground, from living the dream life you envision, to simply being a carbon-based life form. 

A right to Liberty.  Liberty suggests the responsible use of freedom under the rule of law without depriving anyone else of their freedom. What are our freedoms? The biggest one in my mind is the Freedom to be.  To Be.   Not necessarily to have, to own, or even to do. We get to be whatever we want. and if we somehow are limiting ourselves, then we are not completely free. This is internal freedom, the absolute freedom that each of us has access to, and it has nothing at all to do with what might be going on outside of us. This is the type of freedom exhibited by folks like Victor Frankl and Nelson Mandela, who were physically locked up, but remained free in their hearts and minds. 

There is a lot of noise about our personal freedoms these days, the freedom of speech, freedom to marry anyone we want, the freedom to bear arms, the freedom to walk down the street without being accosted, the freedom to wear or not to wear masks. I’d like to touch on this example right now as it is current. Yes, you have the freedom to wear or not to wear a mask. Doesn’t someone else have the freedom to not catch your germs?  The folks who get paid to know this stuff have suggested that we wear masks for everyone’s protection. I’m not arguing one way or the other. 

Let me run a couple of things by you.  We’ve agreed to drive on a certain side of the road. The idea behind this is, if everyone respects this agreement, we won’t run into each other, and we will be free to live our lives and pursue our happiness. It is written that we have the right to own guns. We did not agree that we can shoot each other. These laws/rules/suggestions/guidelines are in place to allow everyone the freedom to live the life they want and to do no harm to anyone else. 

What do these two examples have in common? Respect.  Respect for others. The freedom I believe we’ve signed up for does not suggest your freedom at the expense of another’s. We can enjoy our personal freedoms, live our lives the way we want, and have respect for others to be able to live without fear of their freedoms being stepped on.

We are very blessed to live in a country that, at its core, is about freedom. We enjoy many freedoms here that other countries don’t have access to. 

Again, what does freedom mean to you?  To me, it means to be free in my heart and my mind. These are two freedoms that no one can deprive me of.  And. Life – of choice, of safety, without fear of oppression, Liberty – to live without having my freedoms attacked, and the pursuit of what I consider happiness. I believe we all want the same things, at our core. We want to create a comfortable lifestyle, choose our partner, eat regularly, sleep inside. Live and be at peace.  Allow everyone else the same freedom to live their life as they choose. It’s all about respect. just sayin’