Month: December 2021

Today I’m musing about triggers. What exactly is a trigger? And I’m not referring to Roy Roger’s horse.  

My experience has been that when a relatively insignificant something happens during a regular routine, the reaction to that event far outweighs what might be considered an acceptable response. This is due to the resurfacing of a past event that got triggered. More often than not, we are not consciously aware of the past event. But when it shows up, watch out! 

As you might imagine or even have experienced, that response is not a whole lot of fun for anyone, and really tears a hole in the fabric of the moment. How can we not do that? 

Be aware that you got triggered, that there is a trigger. Pay attention to what was going on with you when that past event took over.   Once we take note of that, we will learn to notice when a trigger is about to get pulled. You can take a breath. And/or Remove yourself from the situation to calm down. Write about your experience in a journal. That helps to understand it. Do a quick exercise. Something physical. Whatever works for you to find your center, to get back to your peace. 

During this holiday season, with the families, parties, the extra stresses, the expectations piled on top of everything else going on, there are many opportunities to experience triggers. Be conscious of the situation you’re going into and be aware of what’s going on around you and within you. If you get triggered and you aren’t pleased with the way you responded, it’s ok. Go easy on yourself! Accept that it happened and that you are becoming aware of the triggers so it won’t happen again.

I like the idea of not letting events of the past mess with the purity and the peace of this moment. After a while, all your moments of now will be just that. Pure, present moments unencumbered by past events. And that, in my opinion, is a beautiful and peaceful thing.

Just sayin’

They reached out.  “Would you please give a talk about how to be a better ewe?” “I’d be glaaaaaad to” I replied sheepishly. Turns out that’s not exactly what they were talking about. (I bet you knew that) 

 What does it mean to be a better you? Is there anything wrong with the way you are? Many theories, discussions about being a better you point to helping others, showing compassion, and similar attributes that are considered markers of good people.   These traits are all admirable qualities.   Many of these traits to be mostly about doing.

So many times the answer is embedded in the question.   The question is how can you be a better you? The answer is to be.   I might add one word – authentic.   Be Authentic. 

What does it mean to be authentic? It means you’re true to your own personality, values, and spirit, regardless of the pressure that you’re under to act otherwise. 

I suggest this pressure ‘to act otherwise’ to please others is self-imposed.   Listen carefully to your inner conversation to determine your motive.   Be aware that we are very good at justification.  

Helping others is in no way a bad thing.  If we are doing these things out of obligations, or shoulds, I question the authenticity, or to add another layer, the integrity of our actions.  Can we be the best version of ourselves without compromising our authenticity? 

To act in all the good, caring ways, and be comfortable with who you are in each moment is a step towards a better you.  A you one that makes the world a little better for everyone else. 

 And that’s not a bad thing.

Just sayin’